Shuichi's Ode to Football
by KittyKitty
Summary: Have you ever noticed that no matter how many TV channels you have, sometimes there's nothing on?


Oh, holy lord, what am I thinking?

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            Stretching out languidly on warm, cushiony leather, Shuichi flipped absentmindedly through the local cable channels. With all the money Yuki made, he figured the guy could afford satellite. There was nothing on. 

            "But Yuki doesn't watch television," he reminded himself quietly. "He's too busy working all the time. Typing away in his office…no time to play with Shu-chan."

            Sighing boredly, the pink bum decided to watch American football. What did they call it? The Super Cup? No, no…The Superbowl! He'd heard about the great advertising industry the U.S. had and had always wondered what it was like and why it was so special.

            It didn't take long before Shuichi was in a trance-like state, staring off into space.

***

            Shuichi picked up the phone and dialed Ryuichi. The pop singer was happy to hear from his friend and answered with an exceptionally cheery "Hello, na no da!", leaving the start of the conversation to the caller.

            "So," Shuichi drawled, "wassup B?"

            "Watchin' the game, havin' a bud." Ryuichi, surprisingly, also had found nothing better on TV to watch. They had so much in common, and Ryu said so.

            "True, true," the singer of Bad Luck agreed. Shuichi was then about to ask his idol about coming over and working on their new collaborative single, when he heard Yuki's voice coming from his office, shouting out something bizarre.

            "WASAAAAAAAA!!!"

            Clearing his throat awkwardly, Shuichi was overcome with confusion and replied, wondering if his lover was trying to communicate with him in some way. "WUZAAAAAAAHHH!"

            Ryuichi, on the other line, was now confused. He'd heard the commotion and hoped everything was okay. "Yo, who's that?"

            Of course it was Yuki. "Yo," Shuichi called to him, "yo, pick up the phone!"

            An irritated Yuki Eiri stopped the tapping on his keyboard. Shuichi was such an idiot. The reason he had yelled suddenly was out of frustration…he hadn't been able to write anything decent in days. To humor the boy, and maybe to shut him up, Yuki picked up.

            "Hello?"

            Ryuichi was excited now, past his earlier confusion, wanting to join in on the bellowing. Obviously, it was just a way Yuki and Shuichi talked to each other. "WUZZEHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

            Yuki decided that he was officially surrounded by idiots and allowed his annoyance to show vocally. "WASAAAAAAAA!!!"

            Still confused, Shuichi chimed in. "WUZAAAAAAHHH!!!"

            Yuki rubbed his forehead and had concluded that Shuichi was on the phone with Ryuichi. Why they were both screaming at him, he had no idea. Why wasn't Ryuichi busy screwing around with Tatsuha or something?

            "Yo, where's Dookie?" Dookie, the embarrassing nickname Yuki had for his little perverted brother.

            Fortunately, Ryuichi told him, Tat-chan was there! He called out to him teasingly, "Yo Dookay!!"

            Tatsuha picked up the phone at Ryuichi's place, amazed his brother had stayed on that long. Usually within the first few seconds, Yuki would hang up. He was so easily disturbed. "Yo."

            Why wasn't Tatsuha keeping his famous, skitzo boyfriend away from Shuichi? They always get into trouble when together, managing to drive him insane. He roared angrily at his brother, threatening to kill. "WAASAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

            Tatsuha, tired of being treated like a teenager, shouted back. He usually never sassed his big brother, so he was little toned down. "Wuzaaaaaaaaaaaa…"

            Of course, being the idiots they were, Shuichi and Ryuichi added their shrieks, respectively.

            "WUZAAAAAAAHHH!"

            "WUZZEHHHHHHHHHH!!!

            At the end of that round of screaming, the two singers were chuckling to themselves. Yuki fumed. Was this a game to them? Suddenly, there was a tiny beep from the phone. Damn it, why was Tohma calling now?

            "Hold on," Yuki growled to Tatsuha, promising to finish what they started in just a moment. Unfortunately, there was no way to talk to Tohma without putting him on three-way. He ordered the other three brats on the line to keep their filthy mouths shut.

            "Hello?"

            The first thing Tohma did was scold Yuki. It was the producer's birthday, and he had forgotten! Not even a card!

            "WUUSSAAAAAAAAAA!"

            From then on, chaos reigned. Everyone was screaming and yelling and whooping and hollering…

            "WASAAAAAAAA!!!""

            "WUZAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

            "WUZZEHHHHHHHHH!!!"   

            "Wuzaaaaaaaaaaa…."

            Yuki was fed up. He hung up promptly, his throat sore. Tatsuha also then hung up, deciding to call his brother back later…when he was in a better mood…

            The line was quiet for a little while. Shuichi rubbed his neck embarrassedly. Poor Yuki. 

            Ryuichi was ready for more, sitting on the edge of his chair, waiting for someone else to belt something out.

            Not knowing what to say, the pink-haired boy said lamely, "So wassup, B?"

            The yelling game was over now, and Ryuichi sighed. He and Kumaguro liked to play, and got sad when everything was all serious. "Watchin' the game, havin' a bud." Wait a minute…hadn't he and Shu-chan had this conversation before?

            "True, true," Shuichi agreed.

***

            Jolted awake by his head hitting the arm of the couch, Shuichi rubbed his eyes. What an odd dream. 

            Wow, the Superbowl was over already? How long had he been asleep?

            And then he heard it. That gruesomely inhuman howl that vaguely sounded like the phrase "wassup."

            But…it was coming from the TV. 

            Oh, it was that so-called advanced U.S. advertising.

            What was a "bud," anyway?

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*rolls on the floor laughing* I will accept flames openly! Wow. A twist on Budweiser's "wassup" commercials.

This will go down as one of my more embarrassing releases. I just had the urge, so I went with it. Maybe this will help me with my slight…*looks around, whispers*…writer's block! Meep!

Thanks a mil if you liked it!

^.^

I swear, not all my work is this silly!


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